I hope you’re having a good day!
I have NEWS!!
We have only told friends and family and ministry partners, thus far.
I have a ring!!!
As I have reflected on the love and support that you all have ALWAYS given me…and my girls, I’m convinced that the ability to take you with us on this journey of transition was a game changer at times.
Your prayers and loyalty to us….made us believe that we could make it. I know how fiercely you prayed, I know how much you tried to love the hurt away. The truth is still and will always be this. People who have the right kind of support get through IT….they survive, and then they march on into the season of thriving.
I am thankful for God’s people who pointed me back to the promises of God…on the dark days.
As I reflect, and look at the goodness of God, many of you are woven into the story of our survival.
Many of you booked us at your churches. We’re thankful, grateful, and always humbled. Some of you got up in the night hour and prayed, and I’m convinced at exactly the right time.
Most of you have driven and been in service with us. Many of you came to the mountain for Stronger. You have encouraged me in every way possible. You’ve loved my girls, even when they had little to say, and the hurt was so new.
I’ve learned to appreciate your stories in a new way. I’ve learned to understand the look on the face of a devastated lady. Sometimes there are no words. We just see “that” look.
Now you’re asking yourself…how did this happen? Or maybe WHO is he?
John has been a faithful employee for 12 years. And the truth is he could be anywhere. He is a perfectionist, a skilled pianist, the best road sound engineer around, and an excellent bus driver. We hired him after the bus wreck of 2010 because his driving came so highly recommended.
There have been many times that I couldn’t believe that he had hung in there for all these years, he could have elevated his income and his position.
The truth is, I barely knew John. He did not live in Nashville and his job was removed from me and the girls. I’ve been raising kids, making sure homework was done, and trying to be a mom….in the back of the bus. My life didn’t involve communicating with him very much. When John came to work for us twelve years ago, I knew he was kind, but I didn’t know him.
After the divorce, when I had to take control of the road business, the touring responsibilities, I had to interact with him. He truly was kind…I found out. He was a stable force in my storm. He took care of us….as he always had, but now I had no choice in the matter. I had business conversations and informational conversations with him weekly. He was solid. Dependable. Level.
At a time when everything around me was unsettled, he was the calm.
He watched me grieve, he watched the girls look for their voice and place in this story. He saw me yell at kids, cry lots of bitter tears. At times…he watched me crumble. It didn’t seem to unnerve him. I’m not sure why he didn’t find another job. It was often unstable and unsettling…on the inside of this storm. However, he didn’t. He stayed. I got to know him.
I began to realize that his heart was enormous, even though his words were few. Several months ago our love story began with a simple text from him. He was driving and I was in the back with the girls.
He said, “You look pretty in pink, and I thought you should know.”
I was like….hmmm????
I have walked through so much rejection…and I’ve learned some lessons about loyalty. I knew he was loyal, I knew he was kind.
And I realized early on that reality said that this life is hard. Most people are not interested in it.
The guy who owns an insurance agency here in my town is not interested in a wife, or a girlfriend that travels around the country with a schedule that resembles a circus or a rodeo rider. ♀️
My fears when thinking about MY personal future…..for the last 2 years and 8 months have been……would I have to choose my calling or a relationship?
My counselor told me early on…when I would say things like….I’ll never be married again…..she would say things like….write down things that would describe “him” if there were to be a new relationship.
Characteristics, qualities, likes and dislikes.
She would say, “WRITE IT DOWN.”
I had NO CLUE I already knew him. Sometimes the answer is under your nose. It’s someone who has seen you at your very worst and knows your intentions and heart.
But I couldn’t see it. I felt I would be alone. And I was willing to be.
I felt I would have to choose my calling (which I’m going to do) over a relationship.
I felt I would ultimately be a single mom, running a bus and a crew…alone, in order for my girls to have the opportunity that I know the Lord had entrusted me with.
But of course, GOD knew. He knew 40 years ago what we would walk through.
He knew that this sweet guy would stay, support, and somehow a love ❤️ would be birthed from the ashes of our story.
I am determined to finish well. If you know John, you know that he’s that guy…he’s going to give you all he has. He’s going to finish beside me.
He’s a good human.
He makes me better. He loves my girls.
God knew….and I’m blown away.
Life is crazy and full of heartbreak….and wonderful surprises.
We would never choose the destruction, but I’m so thankful for new beginnings.
This West Virginia guy….who loves his home state is leaving…he’s moving to Tennessee and has asked me to be his bride! ♂️
I said yes.
We’re engaged. We’re planning a fall wedding. ♀️♂️
God is faithful.
Thank you for allowing me to share this story.
I trust you to pray for us!!!
I love all of you.
Thank you for circling the wagons and encouraging us not to quit…back in January of 2021.
Someone recently told me that it’s time to remove the grave clothes, for me to unwrap myself.
It is.
I’m looking forward to this season of JOY.
Morning FINALLY came.
Again, thank you for loving us when we were at our lowest. ❤️
“Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: Thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
Psalm 30:11
